I want to believe

Believe: accept (something) as true; feel sure of the truth of; think or suppose

I want to believe that I deserve better than what I let myself receive.

I want to believe that I want better for myself because I am worthy of it. I am valuable.

I want to believe that my dreams matter and I’m not just a platform for others to use to reach theirs.

I want to believe that I can care for myself as much as I care about others.

I want to believe that there are people out there that think about me and miss me. I won’t believe the lies.

I want to believe people value me enough to be honest with me. I won’t break. I am strong enough to take it.

I want to believe that there is a man for me who will still love me without makeup on my face, without tan lines on my skin, without alcohol in his veins, without a smile on my face, and with my hidden secrets unveiled.

I want to believe that one day I will let myself stand up for myself. I will not settle. I will no longer be taken advantage of. I will no longer see myself as a body or as an emotionless object for someone else’s enjoyment.

I want to believe that I am brave enough to say no. I will scream it.

I want to believe it wasn’t my fault.

I want to believe that intimacy still means something to somebody. And the words “I love you” aren’t meaningless.

I want to believe that there is a faithful person for me out there.

I want to believe that I have good reason to keep my guard up until someone proves me wrong. And that’s not up for compromise. One day, I will be able to trust again. Someone will be able to tear my wall down brick by brick.

I want to believe that I will find a guy who is willing to take risk and make important sacrifices for me, not out of obligation, but because he truly loves me.

I want to believe that someone is willing to love me and isn’t scared that I’ll break.

I want to believe that you can’t have love without the pain.

I want to believe it will all be worth it.

I want to believe that I can wish the best for those who left bruises on my bones, holes in my heart, and tears on the pages of my journal.

I want to believe that I am better off without those who left me.

I want to believe that if the fire never dies, I can still handle the burns.

I want to believe in myself.

I want to believe that although I make mistakes, I will never be one.

I want to believe my future is good.

I want to believe that my life matters and who I am may inspire someone else.

I want to believe God sees me and smiles because He knows how hard it is for me to open my eyes in the morning, get out of bed, look in the mirror, and walk out the door. He is proud of who I am. He is proud that my scars have healed even if I have permanent bandages. He still loves me.

I believe that. Do you?

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