During school and college, I would tell myself . . .
Nothing good will ever come out of the pain I feel.
Nothing good will ever come out of those words that strike me like a knife.
Nothing good will come out of having absolutely nowhere to go.
Nothing good will come out of this hangover.
Nothing good will come out of another ex-boyfriend who cheated on me.
Katy is one of those blessings that I never saw coming. We were friends sophomore year of high school. We are both 5’2, both dark featured, both dressed up as Tinkerbelle for spirit week and both have kissed the same boys. People got us mixed up and we were constantly asked if we were sisters and even twins. After sophomore year, Katy transferred to another high school.
We lost contact with each other for 6 years. In 2017, we reconnected on Facebook. After 1 year of rekindling our flame (so to speak) we became best of friends. She’s a friend who I can truly trust and someone who will listen without jumping to conclusions. Katy will call me out on my mistakes, but never criticizes my character.
We cheer in each other’s corner no matter what. Now, we are roommates. We are currently, both twenty-something and have full time jobs. What is life? We laugh at the fact that we used to want to grow up and are confused at how fast we both grew up. No one saw that coming.
After we both took a couple wrong turns in the last 6 years, we finally went down the same path. Now, we talk honestly about our relationship with Jesus and what He means to us. We call each other on the phone and say, “OMG! I have a God story” or we will be cooking in the kitchen and Katy will say, “Guess how God showed up today.” Although we believe God is so good and loving, we always get ecstatic when we see Him work in each other’s lives.
6 years ago, we both disconnected from one another. We both made decisions that we can’t take back. We both lost sight of God and what it means to truly live. We hit rough patches that lead to the same insecurities. We questioned what good will ever come out of this or that. How will I ever heal from all this shame, pain, guilt, loss, and grief? Well this is the good that came out of it all. A friendship.
How did we reconnect? Well . . . I was baptized in the Dominican Republic on 3.16.16. Even though social media can be wicked, it wasn’t this time. Katy messaged me on Facebook on 1.10.17 and congratulated me on my baptism almost a year later. We realized that our stories are quite similar. Our testimonies have the same context of feeling broken, experiencing redemption, toxic relationships, depression, anxiety and our leap of almighty faith to pursue a life under God.
Oh and guess what? Katy spend a semester in the Dominican Republic. The same place where the oceans dipped me under and brought to a new life.
Today, we are both hard working ladies. Full time jobs. Single for now or forever. Dreamers of the future.
Don’t get me wrong, we are not perfect because we are in love with Jesus. We slip up. We say unkind words. We enjoy a glass of wine or two. We go to bars with friends.
We don’t always exhibit what everyone expects a good Christian girl should do. Sometimes we miss Sunday morning church service. We believe that church can be anywhere. Some nights, we stay out too late and don’t feel so good the next morning. Some weeks, we are fully invested in reading Scripture. Some days we can’t find the motivation to open the Bible. Some days we question it all. But our faith never wavers.
I can’t talk for Katy, but I am sure she feels the same way. There are times where I am solely diving into everything of the Lord and other days I’m just coasting the waters.
A lot of good things came out of all the pain and mistakes and guilt that I’ve endured in the last 6 years. One of those is how much Katy and I can relate to one another. Our conversations still consist of, “That happened to me too,” “I did the same thing,” “I totally get that,” or “Yes, girl. I feel that way too.” The pain is so similar. Our stories overlap and our insecurities correlate. Our journey with the Lord draws a parallel line and God planned every second of it without our permission.
So, here’s what I want to leave you with . . .
God makes beauty from dirt. He is real because He blesses us before we see the good that’s in all the bad.