Today is a never-ending day.
I feel as though I am only existing.
There is so much keeping me from giving it all up.
Yet there is such little convincing me not to.
My eyes are blinded from those selling me on ways to better myself.
I am not able
To be good enough.
My ears are burning from the arguments, tears, and gunshots.
My brain is empty. It’s on autopilot. It’s all mechanical.
My soul is lost. Was it ever found?
I used to feel the rays of the Light.
I used to know where my feet stood and Who I stood for.
I know He hasn’t left me.
I think I have just abandoned Him.
I’m not quite sure how to get Him back into my routine.
But my routine is mine.
I’m not sure I can give that up.
Although He gave it all up for me, I can’t seem to collect the time or energy to acknowledge Him.
Have I strayed so far that the Kingdom is no longer on the horizon?
Oh Lord, help me.
I have fallen into the depths of the flames.
The devil doesn’t deserve to win.
I want to fight.
I can’t let the whispers to take over.
I refuse to give into all the failures, insecurities, doubt, fear, pain, loss, unforgiveness, regrets, and sin.
Lead me out of this pit. Lead me to victory.
I can’t keep reliving this never-ending day.